love is suffering~~

    i felt lost! i sincerely wish i never touch love before....quite pessimistic huh~~~this is the first time i touch love!~~i dunno what is the feeling of loving someone...care about someone....maybe i'm too selfish...i just care about my own feeling~~~HE---kind of taking advantage on me...doing things that a couple only will do after married....i was shocked! scared to meet him again....dunno what to do, what to talk with him....even though he promised that he won't repeat it again...yet i am still scared of him! at the same time, i don't want to hurt him....yet, my heart told me to leave him.....i dunno what to do....my parents say follow my heart....but what do i really want from him? i dunno....really dunno~~~really confused~~~~argh!!!!!!! There was a flash a thought i my mind---telling me to stay away from love....and be a monk.....huh...