loneliness-helpless!!

today, 31th of january, i'm the earliest one who go back to college during this chinese new year. needless to say, i felt loneliness and fear to stay alone in my room. also, i have to worry so muc stuffs -- those stupid assignment! i have to finish it before the deadline! oh gosh! i wish i can stay at home and no need came back so earlier. yet, the only purpose i came back earlier is because of LION DANCE! haih.....i enjoy the moment i play lion dance performance with my lion dance troupe friend, but i'm also felt very tired......very very tired........
this chinese new year is very special for me. its quite interesting when i cry during chinese new year...., while i shouldn't do that, and i never do that before. why? i felt a little sad for this chinese new year. there are so many unexpected things and incidents happened during this season. i felt very tired.....very tired and loneliness......helpless.....no one can understand my feeling. i couldn't tell othe people about my secret! i'm stucked in my past! and i can't even step out of that! i guess, no one can save me......hopeless....
i wonder, is it we will be mature when we step in university? because this is the real world? i wonder why should we have all those mature feeling in our mind? why can't we just mantain our feeling of happy in childhood?
i still wonder.....still searching any answer.....still hoping that someone can help me.....

public speaking.....oh my god!

haih.....tomorrow is my public speaking day.....so nervous and cares about other people's opinion and impression toward my public speaking. very complicated mind also.......although i had enough day and time to practise, but i still cannot improve my speaking as well as i can. needless to say, i felt a little disappointed about myself....how come i'm so stupid? interestingly, i'm going to talk about topic -- worry. it's definitely contrary to myself whereas i try to persuade people--don't worry too much. while, i'm the one who worries too much about my presentation. haha! what a funniest joke i ever experienced in my life.
chinese new year is coming.....i felt very happy and i admited that i had waiting for that day for a long time.....maybe it is because i can go home and be together with my family members and i can eat and drink alchohol drink during that day.

28th of November(12th day)

On 28th of November, we had a great graduation with Mathew, Rosemary Allen, and all of us in University of Western Australia at 11am. All of us almost burst into cry as we will leave Perth on Sunday afternoon. All of us wished that we will come back to Perth on one day. We strongly felt that Rosemary Allen is a nice and proficiency teacher and also grandmother I ever met before in my whole lives. After that touching moment, we walked to nearer restaurant and had our sumptuous meals there until 3pm. All of us had about $40 to order our lunch in that restaurant. So, I had pasta with prawn, volka, “cherry cha cha” ice cream as dessert and other delicious meals. Then, five of us include me, sin yong, gui chan, steven, and pricilia went to Harbour Town for shopping as it’s open hours are until 9pm for weekdays. I bought a t-shirt for $9.95 and a sun glasses for $4.95 which has 400 UV protection. I found that clothes and other accessories in Harbour Town are very cheap if compared to other places in Perth. We went to Clores in Clemont City to buy cheap chocolate. Yet, that chocolate supermarket was closed early at 5:30pm. So, me and sin yong went home early as it is very dangerous if we back home at night in Northbridge. When we reached home, we had a short talk with Rada in the garden. It is a big surprise for both of us that she gave us two different kinds of chocolate as presents. After a short discussion with Lee(Hong Kong’s student) about the Penguin Island, we decided not to go there as it was similar to Rottnest Island. On the same time, we want to save our money for souvenirs. Since both of us were hungry, we ate cereals with milk as our dinner at 9pm. It is because we told Rada already that she no need to prepare our dinner for that night. While, both of us discussed about plans for tomorrow holiday before we go back on Sunday. After that, we watched movie until 12 midnight and slept around 12:30am.

26th of November(11th day)

On 26th of November, that was our happiest day along these weeks. We went to Caversham Wildlife Park which took about one hour to arrive there. Along the way, we saw some young Christmas Tree that had been planted for the coming soon Christmas day. Then, there was a warden who will guide us to visit those precious and cute animals in the park. First of all, we saw KANGAROO!!! Yeah!!! We saw a white baby kangaroo with it’s mother in the park. It is such a interesting image for all of us who came from Asian country. We were allowed to feed those kangaroos with food which shapes like a small cigarette and it’s colour is light brown. This was really a precious and fun experience for me as well. Along the way to Molly’s Farm, we saw a beautiful peacock beside the park. In the farm, we saw Australia sheep and cows at first. Then, we saw an animal which looks like camel in the farm. We could recognize it easily because of it’s arrogant look. Also, we saw a giant pig and small pigs which are pink in colour. We saw two types of rabbits and a special chicken which has white fur all over it’s body. Meanwhile, we saw Wedge-tailed eagle which is already 26 years old. After that, we saw a cute baby wallaby named Jeff , belonged to the wallaby named Joey. It is really fantastic that I can see many precious and rare species in this farm. We took picture one by one with Wombat,
which looks like a small bear. In the same place, we saw two beautiful and naughty parrots. Then, we saw some reptiles, parrots and also KOOKABURA!! We also saw Emu, Dingo, Fox, and Flying Fox in the farm. It is really an impressed and fun experience for all of us as well. Finally, we had a visit to KUOLA!! Right! It is a lazy animal that sleeps all the time and only wake up to eat for 40 minutes in a day. It is because they need much time in producing energy to be able to wake up for food. It’s already 3:15pm where we must go back to UWA as the bus driver was waiting for us outside. It was only one hour for us to discover those precious species in the farm. I felt a little disappointed when we need to go back on time. We reached home at 5pm and found that Rada had already prepared the dinner. So, we just helped her to pack some stuffs as she is going to move to new house after we go back to Malaysia. We slept early at night to prepare ourselves for the graduation .

25th of November(10th day)

On 25th of November, we had sandwich as our lunch as usual in those days. We had a class observation with lecturer, Tecla in teaching vocabulary class. Me, Yeong Ru and Juanita became small teacher or tutor in this elective class. However, we were also exposed to the real classroom situation which is benefit for our teaching careers in the future. At night, we had a variety of delicious foods as our dinner. That’s sounds great, yap! We went to sleep early as we wanted to prepare ourselves for tomorrow excursions to Caversham Wildlife Park as well. Hurray!

24th of November(9th day)

On 24th of November, we went for the class as usual. The lesson on that day was as interesting as usual. I was totally impressed with those examples of essays that Rosemary showed us as most of those good essays were belonged to students’ in primary school only. While, we were happy as we had pasta as our lunch and also save our money for lunch. After that, we had a tour to King’s Park, Botanical Garden and Tree Tops Walk as well. We took bus 103 to go there and it took 30 minutes to arrive at the King’s Park. We had a tour guide who came late for one hour and explained to us those stories and interesting things in the botanical garden. We learned about the oldest story of Perth City, the function of medicine tree, story of Nyongga and others. It was truly an amazing and meaningful experience as well. There were varieties of plants and the breathtaking sceneries around the park. We had an enjoyable moment until 5pm and we went home by bus 103 and 102. We reached home at 7pm for the dinner time. Also, that day was Rada’s husband, Brounkul’s birthday. So, we had a change to eat pizza, salad, two types of pasta and cake for the dinner. As a result, both of us had “ sugar rash” and our faces became red in colour. It was really funny when we saw our faces in the room. Besides, there was also a heavy rain on that day. I felt cold as usual as I could not stand with the cold temperature as well.

23th of November(8th day)

On 23th of November, we went out for a walk around the city and some shopping malls and took some photos as well. That day was Sunday, public holiday for citizens in Australia. We found that we were already familiar with some roads around the area we lived, in Perth. We brought some breads and cereals from home stay as our lunch, in order to save our money for next week. I had spent around $210 out of $300 that I brought for the trip. I had to remember that I must save money for my parents. Also, I bought an Australia tea for my roommate, Hui Ying as her souvenirs at about 4 dollar. Then, we went back to home stay around 4pm and took a nap. We decided to have our dinner at home as we had paid for that in our expenses to Perth, Australia. I felt very happy as I can go home on next week. I really felt uncomfortable by staying in other person’s house as well. We had rice, seafood pasta and salad as our dinner. It’s a delicious meal for me as I was hungry since afternoon. I took my bath lately at 9:30pm as I thought Rada was going to bring us out . Eventually, we didn’t go out as it was raining at that time.

22th of November(7th day)

On 22th of November, we went out early in the morning and told Rada that we will not back home for the lunch and dinner before we went out. We learnt to go to Fremantle by using train. Luckily, we were able to catch the train to Fremantle in the nick of time. The cost for the ticket is $1.40 per person. We met Steven, Shawn, Shoby and Yeong Ru at B Shed in Fremantle. Before that, we saw a beautiful and large yatch near the harbor. Then, all of us went to the Rottnest Island and spent about $48 per person for the ticket. We went to the island by a beautiful ship- Rottnest Express and we had an relaxing moment for half an hour on the ship. When we reached there, we went for some shops and then had our lunch at the café. I bought a big bread as my lunch and it costs around $4 for each. The interesting one was we saw quokka, a small short-tailed wallaby, the wild life that living on the Rottnest Island. After that, we went to the seaside and played with the clear and cold water in the sea. It was really nice and the sand beside the sea was very soft to touch as well. However, it was raining when we stayed there about half an hour. The weather was not really good for us to enjoy the beautiful scenery of sea. Subsequently, we went to Harbor Town for shopping. However, most of the shops had already closed at 5pm. Then, we had two expensive pizza as our dinner in a Korea Restaurant. We reached home at about 9:30pm. It was really a happy day for us. Hurray!!!

21th of November(6th day)

On 21th of November, we went to UWA as usual. In the afternoon, we went for our excursions to Fremantle, Maritime Museum(Shipwreck Galleries), Kidogo Art House and other historical places as well. Then, we had a relax time in café strip. All of us ate the delicious fish and chips beside the fish harbor. However, we can’t finished the fish and chips. So, we packed it and planned to eat at home stay. Also, we told Rada that we will not eat dinner on that day. Then, we went to the Fremantle market to see whether there got any interesting and valuable souvenir or not. After that, we went to “Little Creatures Bar” and had a cup of alcohol drink with Yeong Ru, Shoby, Ying Ping, and Steven. It was definetely an unique bar as it looked like a factory of wine. We took “cat bus” which is a free transport and we went back to ‘C Shed” and took some photo too. And, we took train to went back home as there was no bus available at that time. It was already 9pm , while the day was already dark. That was our first time went back home stay by using train. Yet, we found that the scenery of surrounding at night was extremely beautiful. Meanwhile, the two gentlemen, Steven and Ying Ping sent us home as the surrounding in Northbridge was not quite safe for two chinese foreign girls. It supposed to be a happy day for us as well. Yet, we were scolded by Rada when we reached home at about 10 o’clock. It was because I forgot to take out those pieces of paper inside my pocket and it stucked the hole of washing machine. Eventually, Rada had to wash the washing machine for one hour. That’s why she showed an angry face and scolded us strictly at the moment we reached home. We felt very scared about that and decided that we will not washed any clothes by using her washing machine after that. It was more safer that we did not use any appliances at here as well. That was my first time I didn’t tell this sad incident to my parents. I realize that I must not disappoint my parents’ home and make them worried about me. That was a horrible night for me and sin yong as well.

20th of November( 5th day)

Me and Sin Yong went for the class as usual. We felt tired in the early morning as well. It might because of the cold weather in Perth, Australia. There is something different today as we brought pasta from home stay as our lunch. It’s really helped to save our money as well. I had a second class observation today with my group members, Yeong Ru and Juanita in the afternoon. Undeniably, we took photo too with every student and the lecturer in the end of the class. When we reached home, we helped Rada to do some domestic chores in kitchen such as paring potato, cabbages, carrots, onions, and others. We had to be very careful to avoid from breaking any rules in this home stay. However, I forgot to help sin yong and Rida in kitchen after I had my bath. It’s my own fault as I left sin yong worked alone in the kitchen. As a result, they all angry about me. I felt upset and regret of my action in the whole night. Eventually, we went to sleep early at about 10pm.

19th of November(4th day

On 19th of November, we wake up early and had our breakfast as usual. Then, we went to the University and had our 3rd lessons with Rosemary Allen. She taught us grammar and some useful skills in teaching English as well. While, I ate a huge hamburger as my lunch which cost about $5 in Mother’s food restaurant, near the University of Western Australia. After that, I went for the class observation on how the teacher there taught the lesson in class. My groups of class observation consists of Yeong Ru, Juanita and me. We met different nations of people in that class which include people from China, Hong Kong, Brazil, Thailand, and Arab Saudi. We had a nice afternoon lessons with them as well. We went back to the home stay and taking photo along the way home. However, there was something happened where I realized that I broke their taboos by not paying attention in the conversation last night. It was Rida who came to our rooms and told me this incident. Undeniably, I felt scared of breaking any more rules in this home stay family. Also, she gave us 2 sheets of home stay rules for our reference as well. Then, we went to sleep early as we got nothing to do. I started to miss my home in Malaysia already……

18th of November(3rd day)

On 18th of November, we took our ways to University of Western Australia by following the instruction we listened from Bong yesterday. That’s quite easy for us as we managed to arrive our destinations right on time. Then, we started our second lessons with Rosemary. For lunch, I spent $4.5 for a vegetarian noodle in the café. After we finished our class at 12pm, we went for our excursions to those famous places in Perth, Australia like Bell Tower, City Centre and others. While, we met our beautiful and friendly tour guide, Jama for our excursions. Unfortunately, we forgot to charge the camera batteries last night. So, we were unable to take photo of many beautiful and meaningful scenery along our excursions. Also, we bought some souvenirs from some shops and it cost me about $34 for all souvenirs I bought for my family members and friends. Then, we had a visit to museum which contains a variety of precious and rare things. We walked back to our home stay house. After finished our delicious dinner, we had a relaxing time with the home stay family members as well.